Sad, Lonely, Mentally Unstable Individuals

[Update 16 Sept: The page referred to below was updated after I wrote to the trustees letting them know about this blog and the reasons. NBH has removed the disdainful references indirectly aimed at the presumed author, and put some interesting comments in their place.]

The National Bullying Helpline website has recently been updated with an article under the headline "CYBERBULLYING". It includes spiteful references to blogs and bloggers. Most readers would regard the article as indirect and general, but it contains a subliminal and disdainful personal message for a former client of the National Bullying Helpline, who is wrongly presumed to be the author of this blog. The article and particularly the subliminal message further demonstrate why potential clients of the helpline should think very carefully. The article reads:

"If an individual writes a blog about your organisation, or harasses someone under the guise of a blog in an attempt to try to convince others that they are a victim of circumstance, they are delusional."

Wow! Is every topical blogger delusional? Are there no true victims of circumstance who also blog? 

The author of this blog is not a victim, and does not purport to be a victim of the National Bullying Helpline or its operator. The author has been approached by and has assisted people who got a very raw deal from Christine Pratt, and has heard from others who work in the target support sector who themselves were approached by targets who felt thoroughly exploited by Mrs Pratt, and who then felt threatened if they were to complain. Targets of bullying are often depressed and anxious, and some are suicidal. The National Bullying Helpline elicits their calls on the premise that they will be helped, which is what they want and need, and what they reasonably expect from a registered charity "helpline".  In the event that the helpline operator treats them the way X was treated, the risk of further psycholocical harm is very high. This concern is based on actual events, and is genuine and serious. The only reason to express it this way is to help prevent others being treated the same way as X.

The article continues:

"For example, we recently heard of a case where an individual wrote a blog about her former employer because she was found to be a bully through a formal investigation process. She was subsequently disciplined and later dismissed. In an act of retaliatory treatment and revenge she wrote a blog that was totally misleading and inaccurate."

What you're reading now is not about the former employer of any person featured in or responsible for the blog. Helpline client "X" was not ultimately disciplined nor was she dismissed, in spite of Christine Pratt's best efforts. This blog was not written or even suggested by her, and it presents a balanced and fair (to the public) picture of the risks of following the National Bullying Helpline's advice to have an HR&DM investigation.

"Bloggers will, typically, convince themselves that they are a victim and that their blog is permissible under their 'freedom of speach' [sic] but they will also, very typically, refuse to reveal their name and/or write the blog under a pseudonym. They will also, typically, block the target of their blog from responding."

Anyone and everyone is invited to make contact. The way to do that is straightforward and explained on the profile page. The main reason for concealing my identity are simple - this blog is not about me, and I am not an attention seeker.

"Furthermore, bloggers will typically portray only half a story."

YES! In this case, it is the half of the story the National Bullying Helpline operator does not tell the public. The blog contains links to the good half of the story on the National Bullying Helpline website.

"The perpetrators of Cyberbullying bring shame to no one but themselves."

What Tim Field wrote about shame

"Bullying results in fear, shame, embarrassment and guilt which increase whilst the bullying continues. Bullies recognise these symptoms and use them to disempower their victim."


The NBH article goes on:

"The perpetrators of Cyberbullying are often unable to accept constructive criticism..."

As yet, the author has not received any criticism, constructive or otherwise, but it would be welcome. Should any inaccuracy be noticed, please contact the author and, subject to verification of any alleged error, it will be corrected as soon as possible. Also, if a blog is not the right way to make the public aware of this issue, then anyone who can advise the most appropriate official channel, please get in touch.

"...and they are often sad, lonely, mentally unstable individuals - incapable of separating fact from fiction. They are bullies in the truest sense and, we all know, bullies are cowards."

Tim Field, "Bully In Sight" page 201, the fifteen step bully identification process:
1. Surprise. 2. Denial, 3. Projection, 4. Sympathy, 5. Alarm, 6. Threat, 7. Provocation, 8. Delay, 9. Panic, 10. Defence, 11. Confusion. 12. Diversion, 13. Counter attack, 14. Humility, 15. Play victim.

The sentence is more astonishing when one remembers that it was written in the apparent belief that it was about someone who called the National Bullying Helpline and introduced HR&DM to a contract worth about £8000. Under the contract, the Helpline operator deemed that X's grievance was vexatious, like (at least) 32% of grievances HR&DM investigated in 2006. The helpline operator recommended that X was disciplined for gross misconduct. Now, when X is presumed to be the person exposing the process behind her horrendous experience, the "helpline" portrays her as "sad, lonely, mentally unstable, a bully and a coward." 

"If you or your company is targeted by a Cyber Bully, do not reproach yourself. Ask yourself wither the perpetrator has an axe to grind. The answer is invariably yes."

Even though X does not have an axe to grind, it would not be surprising if she did, given what HR&DM wrote about her while she thought she was receiving help from their charity helpline. In this case however, the blog is here for the sake of innocent and vulnerable members of society who may be taken in by the helpline's  manufactured credibility. They are entitled to know the risk of following the same advice, and presently this is the only publication that spells out the risk.

"Cyberbullying, if believed by a reasonable person to be an act of victimisation or harassment, may be regarded as a criminal offense under The Harassment Act."

Incomplete & inaccurate citation noted.

There's a curious footnote below the NBH's new paragraph on cyberbullying, in which (as above) the writer refers to bullying as unacceptable and inexcusable, and says that bullies are delusional, often sad, lonely, mentally unstable individuals - incapable of separating fact from fiction, and cowards... even criminals... The footnote says:

"WHAT ABOUT THE BULLY?
Have you been accused of being a bully? This can be extremely distressing and, often, the allegation is unwarranted. Remember, you have rights too - whatever your status in the organisation. ASK for a FREE copy of: What to do if accused of being a Bully. It really does contain some practical tips and advice. Email us for a copy."

Poor alleged bullies ...